The much talked about reality-tv drama show "The Hills," which airs every monday night, managed to, yet again, fulfill it's duties as cat-fight fueled entertainment. The show is in it's fifth season now, but the drama continues to be on a climactic escalade. The show is produced by MTV, but of course. The network has produced numerous reality tv shows aimed at teenage girls who have nothing better to do but live vicariously through the stars on the hit programs. The main character of The Hills, is Lauren Conrad. Conrad is an alumni of the reality tv world. Before starring on The Hills, Lauren Conrad was infamously known as LC on Laguna Beach. It is safe to say that Conrad's advances in the fashion and makeup industry be owed to her stints on these reality shows.
As I positioned myself comfortable in preparation of tonight's episode, I couldn't help but wonder how I chose this show over doing homework. It's on repeat every weekend morning, yet I found myself religiously following, every monday night. The opening of the episode gave it's usual recap of the previous, to help viewers pick up where they left off, for a smooth transition to the current episode.
The night's episode revolved around past loves, appropriately titled "I always had a little crush."
Audrina Patridge confesses to her group of girls that she has had a thing for Brody Jenner, which completely stupified her closest LA friends, Lauren and Lo. Lauren had previously dated Brody Jenner, so one would only assume that many questions darted around in her head.
The overall love affair, jealousy, and cheating, that this episode had to offer, retained the show's reputation of being the go to place for catfights and drama. There always seems to be someone stirring the pot in every single episode of The Hills. It wouldn't make sense not to have threats of breakups and cheating accusations, because that is the sole premise of the show.
Needless to say, the show does it's job well. You tune in hoping to be entertained by tensions between cool LA kids, and you do not leave empty handed. The Hills gives one, their weekly fix for unneccessary drama, that we could be lacking in our own lives, thankfully.
Overall, the show does a good job of pulling in viewers to feed off of the character's problems. It seems to turn viewers into loyal minions that are willing to duel in a verbal match between the show's frenemies. Will definitely tune in next week to get my drama fix.
Showing posts with label Writer's Craft. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Writer's Craft. Show all posts
Sunday, May 3, 2009
Coffee With Emily Haines
L: What's your favourite drink from here?
EH: I would have to say... the Chai Vanilla Latte. They make the best ones in the city.
L: Mmmm that sounds good, I think I'll get that too.
L: So how good does it feel to be touring again?
EH: Prettyy stellar, we've had a bit of a long break since the last album, I can feel the excitement from all of our fans.
L: Yeah definitely. By the way, your solo album was what I listened to my entire summer. It was that good of an album.
EH: Aww thank you. That means alot to me, you have no idea. I basically poured my heart out for all to listen to, so I was kind of afraid for what kind of a response it would have.
L: I absolutely was in love with it. Every word had feeling and meaning behind it. I have to say you are one of the best lyricists in my opinion. Do you listen to Death Cab for Cutie?
EH: Yeah! They're actually one of my favourite bands.
L: Ben Gibbard is one of my favourite songwriters. He pens some of the most heartfelt lyrics, it's ridiculous!
EH: I actually met him once, he was a very kind and gentle kind of a guy. What you would expect him to be. A total sweetheart.
L: Mmmm, by the way, this Chai Vanilla Latte, pretttyyyyy amazing, I definitely will be ordering it the next time.
EH: Yea, it's really calming. I love this neighbourhood.
L: I didn't know about it until last week. Leslieville seems like a cool little area. I'll definitely be back.
EH: Glad to hear it :)
Smoke with Amy Winehouse
L: Do you have a light?
AW: Ahyea mate, hold up gimme a second...pshfkdfmmerrlll.
L: K sweet... what?
AW: Ere ya go, you gonna ave to push it a lil bit arder, you get what I mean?
L: eeeYup, got it, thanks.
AW: What are you doing round ere in foggytown London?
L: I'm on a student trip, we're staying across the street at that hotel.
AW: OhhhIseeeeferggddfaiii any time to sight see?
L: Ummm... Yea we walked by Big Ben this morning. It was cool.
AW: Eres this really good place to get fish and chips when you're extremely extremely smashed. Are you ungry by any chance?
L: A little bit, why don't you show me to this great fish and chips place :)
AW: My pleasure, follow me. (walks with lack of balance)
L: Whoa, are you good?
AW: Yea don't worry about it, I don't give a dfnsgjfggffmmf what they say about me on the tele and tabloid papers, you know?
L: Uh. Ya. Sure. Hey, where are you playing your next show?
AW: Round the heath, o'er at emm wha dyou call that place again? The peppa club, yar that's it.
L: Cool cool. I'll come check you out.
AW: Ere we are, come on inside, ave a seat.
L: I can't wait to eat.
Shopping with Lindsay Lohan
L: What do you think of this turquoise necklace Lilo?
LL: Uhhh, it's sort of last season.
L: Yeah... I ... was totally thinking the same thing!
LL: Do you think this shirt would enhance my ribcage?
L: Err... yea definitely. Are you sure that's your size, unless that's what you want..
LL: Shut up.
L: (looks down) whispers under breath: Bone rack.
LL: Grab me 5 of those gold chains. NOW!
L: Fiiinnnneeeeee.
LL: Ughhhh look at them waiting outside the store, don't they have something better to do?!
L: Well.. that's what you signed up for.
LL: I just wish they would go die.
L: You have your job, and they have theirs, that's life.
LL: Ok, let's go pay for all of this S***.
L: Whoaa... you have like half a store's worth of stuff.
LL: Your point?
L: (shrugs)
LL: 11,089.67 dollars? That's it? Wow, I am sooo under budget this time.
L: (baffled look)
LL: K let's bounce b****.
Monday, April 6, 2009
Dance Training with Britney Spears
L: Oh man, I'm really starting to break a sweat, I don't know how you do it Britbrit.
B: Well, initially I was huffin and puffin, but I've completely adjusted my body to it, you just have to get used to it. In a lil while hunny.
L: This move right here (Hand swing-leg kick combo), I like it. Did you come up with it?
B: Yea, I worked with Shane Sparks for the dance moves in the tour, and most of the choreography is a combination of mine and his ideas.
L: Well the dancing has evidently paid off, you have such a great body for someone who has 3 kids!
B: Thanks ya'll! I mean all the chasin around that I do with Sean Preston, and the other two fiesty characters, definitely keeps me fit!
L: Ooohh this song is my favourite off of Circus!
B: Turn it up ya'll! I'm glad to hear you enjoy it.
L: Hey, I got a glimpse of the costumes when I was perusing around the set, and I must say... tres tres chic!
B: Ohhh definitely! Dolce and Gabbana designed those for me, they have such a strong eye for things like that!
L: There was this bright red circus ring leader-esque jacket that I thought was absolutely exquisite!
B: That one is ma favorite! (beaming smile) I feel like I'm in control when I wear that one.
L: Do you think I could be a great performer like you when I'm older?
B: Well hunny, if you want it bad enough, and work as hard as you can, I can assure you that anything is possible (warm smile).
L: Gee thanks Brit, it means a lot coming from you! (A single tear runs down my cheek)
B: What do you say we get back to choreographing the next song? :D
L: I'm ready when you are!
Thursday, April 2, 2009
Stupid Fun Becomes Big Regret
Let's see him try and get that off his car!
That teaches him to mess with us. I mean seriously, does he think he can get away with treating us like sh**.
This is perfect. Minus the rain of course. I hope the rain doesn't wash off all the eggs and the flour, and all the garbage. Hahahahah! I wonder when we'll stop running.
I'm kind of in the mood for a Starbucks. There's one around the corner.
Finally. I'm so out of breath. It feels like I'm coughing up a lung. And my socks are all damp. GREAT! I hope we sit inside for a while, I'm getting shivers.
I hope those cops aren't coming in here for us. They look like they're looking hard for something.
F*** they're walking straight towards our table. Play it cool. Play it cool. Deep breath.
Did someone call them on us? I didn't even see anyone around.
F*** I'm so screwed, my rents are gonnaaa KILL ME
VANDALISM?!!??! F***! If I knew I was gonna get into this, I wouldn't have done it
I'm so embarrassed. Are the handcuffs necessary? I mean really? We're just a bunch of dumb teenagers who trashed a dirt bag's car.
What am I gonna say when they call my parents.
Audience: Teenagers that want to exact revenge on certain people.
Purpose: To show the potential consequences that may occur from these crimes.
That teaches him to mess with us. I mean seriously, does he think he can get away with treating us like sh**.
This is perfect. Minus the rain of course. I hope the rain doesn't wash off all the eggs and the flour, and all the garbage. Hahahahah! I wonder when we'll stop running.
I'm kind of in the mood for a Starbucks. There's one around the corner.
Finally. I'm so out of breath. It feels like I'm coughing up a lung. And my socks are all damp. GREAT! I hope we sit inside for a while, I'm getting shivers.
I hope those cops aren't coming in here for us. They look like they're looking hard for something.
F*** they're walking straight towards our table. Play it cool. Play it cool. Deep breath.
Did someone call them on us? I didn't even see anyone around.
F*** I'm so screwed, my rents are gonnaaa KILL ME
VANDALISM?!!??! F***! If I knew I was gonna get into this, I wouldn't have done it
I'm so embarrassed. Are the handcuffs necessary? I mean really? We're just a bunch of dumb teenagers who trashed a dirt bag's car.
What am I gonna say when they call my parents.
Audience: Teenagers that want to exact revenge on certain people.
Purpose: To show the potential consequences that may occur from these crimes.
Wednesday, April 1, 2009
Revised Plans at the Carnival
Mmmm... this pie is surprisingly good.
Who knew carnival food would be this good.
There are sooo many people here today, well it makes sense since this is the last day of the CNE.
I wonder where Michael went. I hope he didn't get lost going to the men's room; I mean I did specifically tell him to meet me by the Merry-Go-Round.
What the... Is that a blimp? What does that sa-- Oh Goodyear.
Why is there a blimp hovering so close to the Convention Centre?
That b*tch bumped into me on purpose. I'm clearly standing here. She needs to watch where she's going.
Found him. Mike's got such a great smile. I wonder if he looks at me the same way that I see him.
I kind of want to go look at those jewelry stands... but Mike probably won't want to. Maybe I'll tell him to grab us some drinks and we'll meet back here.
Great. Now I can shop freely. Ooh. this wooden necklace is really cool looking. It's $60! Made in Africa... well I guess that kind of makes sense.
Sh*t he scared me. Great! It's all over my new blouse. What am I going to wear to dinner now?
ARghhhhhhh. Aww he feels so bad. good. that's what you get for creeping up behind me.
I'll just buy a shirt from this place. Nice beaded tunic for $20, why not.
Ann always does this, f*ck now it's just me and Michael going for dinner. Why can't she just stick to plans. Ann can go screw herself. I don't even know why Joe's still with her. She's seeing someone behind his back for Christ's sake!
Whatever. It'll just be me and Michael. Ann doesn't even like the place we're going to. No. we should go to her favourite restaurant, just because.
God, my calves are killing me, I wish someone could drive the car over to us, instead of trekking over to the parking lot. Actually, I think this place has a valet. Maybe next year.
Audience: 25-35 year old adults that relate to the adult carnival experience.
Purpose: To portray a woman's day in the life through her eyes at a carnival setting.
Who knew carnival food would be this good.
There are sooo many people here today, well it makes sense since this is the last day of the CNE.
I wonder where Michael went. I hope he didn't get lost going to the men's room; I mean I did specifically tell him to meet me by the Merry-Go-Round.
What the... Is that a blimp? What does that sa-- Oh Goodyear.
Why is there a blimp hovering so close to the Convention Centre?
That b*tch bumped into me on purpose. I'm clearly standing here. She needs to watch where she's going.
Found him. Mike's got such a great smile. I wonder if he looks at me the same way that I see him.
I kind of want to go look at those jewelry stands... but Mike probably won't want to. Maybe I'll tell him to grab us some drinks and we'll meet back here.
Great. Now I can shop freely. Ooh. this wooden necklace is really cool looking. It's $60! Made in Africa... well I guess that kind of makes sense.
Sh*t he scared me. Great! It's all over my new blouse. What am I going to wear to dinner now?
ARghhhhhhh. Aww he feels so bad. good. that's what you get for creeping up behind me.
I'll just buy a shirt from this place. Nice beaded tunic for $20, why not.
Ann always does this, f*ck now it's just me and Michael going for dinner. Why can't she just stick to plans. Ann can go screw herself. I don't even know why Joe's still with her. She's seeing someone behind his back for Christ's sake!
Whatever. It'll just be me and Michael. Ann doesn't even like the place we're going to. No. we should go to her favourite restaurant, just because.
God, my calves are killing me, I wish someone could drive the car over to us, instead of trekking over to the parking lot. Actually, I think this place has a valet. Maybe next year.
Audience: 25-35 year old adults that relate to the adult carnival experience.
Purpose: To portray a woman's day in the life through her eyes at a carnival setting.
Monday, March 30, 2009
Avitazen, Vile Woman!!!
"Goooochiiigooochigoooo"
I mean seriously? Who does she think she is?
Ever since birth, this woman has been taunting me endlessly with her array of silly sounds.
I stare back at her wide eyed, hoping she will pick up on the fact that I think she's a complete moron. I would prefer to give her an earful, but it's clear that we are not on the same level of communication.
The insane woman decided to dress me up in costume and leave me on the back deck for the morning . I tried to object, but as usual, she got her way. I will give her this however, her choice on the green pea pod ensemble, was the best decision she has ever made. The fleecy interior feels luxurious against my soft skin, and the colour brings out my eyes.
She has her professional Canon Digicam 590-39 slung around her neck, and I know what's to come. She does this on a daily basis, snapping photographs of me in unusual settings. She definitely has an obsession with me. Once again there is nothing I can do about it, but allow her to take advantage of me.
I am almost at my breaking point with this woman. She does not know her boundaries. Little does she know I have been plotting this whole time. My plan is to run away and start a business in Germany. I won't so much run away, as I will crawl away, but it gets the job done, none the less.
My plan will be put into action around dinner time. I have packed myself a diaper bag of necessities. My documents and objects for survival are neatly categorized within the bag, for easy access. I have already contacted someone who will pick me up on the intersection of Dunkirk and Monahan. I cannot wait to desert this outlandish lifestyle, in order to pursue my intelligent project.
She lunges her arms for me, and I squirm with rebellion. As she hoists me up into her chest, I smile at the thought of my genius scheme, and let out a quiet "muahaha."
As soon as naptime is over, my escape will transpire.
Audience: Evil children from ages 10-18
Purpose: To create an alter ego for the seemingly innocent toddler.
I mean seriously? Who does she think she is?
Ever since birth, this woman has been taunting me endlessly with her array of silly sounds.
I stare back at her wide eyed, hoping she will pick up on the fact that I think she's a complete moron. I would prefer to give her an earful, but it's clear that we are not on the same level of communication.
The insane woman decided to dress me up in costume and leave me on the back deck for the morning . I tried to object, but as usual, she got her way. I will give her this however, her choice on the green pea pod ensemble, was the best decision she has ever made. The fleecy interior feels luxurious against my soft skin, and the colour brings out my eyes.
She has her professional Canon Digicam 590-39 slung around her neck, and I know what's to come. She does this on a daily basis, snapping photographs of me in unusual settings. She definitely has an obsession with me. Once again there is nothing I can do about it, but allow her to take advantage of me.
I am almost at my breaking point with this woman. She does not know her boundaries. Little does she know I have been plotting this whole time. My plan is to run away and start a business in Germany. I won't so much run away, as I will crawl away, but it gets the job done, none the less.
My plan will be put into action around dinner time. I have packed myself a diaper bag of necessities. My documents and objects for survival are neatly categorized within the bag, for easy access. I have already contacted someone who will pick me up on the intersection of Dunkirk and Monahan. I cannot wait to desert this outlandish lifestyle, in order to pursue my intelligent project.
She lunges her arms for me, and I squirm with rebellion. As she hoists me up into her chest, I smile at the thought of my genius scheme, and let out a quiet "muahaha."
As soon as naptime is over, my escape will transpire.
Audience: Evil children from ages 10-18
Purpose: To create an alter ego for the seemingly innocent toddler.
Sunday, March 29, 2009
A Long Fall of Retrospect
We finally made it. We finally got to the top of that illusive mountain.
It was a long and strenuous trek from point A to point B.
As I plant my foot on a chiseled surface on the smooth granite, I can't help but wipe the sweat off my forehead with the back of my hand. That sweat represents the victory of a lifelong dream.
I thought back to myself as a rambunctious teenager, penning my life goals down on a sheet of foolscap. The ultimate goal before I died was to climb, Mount Wagasunya; which was completed a few moments ago.
I took a deep breath, and realized I hadn't checked up on my climbing partner John Eisenhower. I turned around to see his reaction, and it was exactly as I thought. His expression was as I had predicted; full of bliss and contentment.
His eyes met mine, and we exchanged knowing smiles.
The bliss was quickly taken away, as fast as it had appeared. I lost stability on the rock I was standing on, and fell off the cliff with my arms flapping.
All I could see was John staring downwards, expressionless. My suspicion had become reality. He had it out for me. I knew in the pit of my stomach that there was something off between our communications, but I pushed the accusations aside, and continued the hike.
He had been acting cold and distant for the month leading up to the hike. I was quick to refuse any suspicions of infidelity, but I could not for the life of me, identify the cause.
The fall felt like an eternity, and I did not know if I would hit the ground anytime soon. I had time to say goodbye to my parents in my thoughts.
I hit the ground with a loud thud. It went away as fast as it came.
Audience: Adventure seeking teens to those in their mid 20s.
Purpose: To captivate an audience's attention with a sharp turn of events.
It was a long and strenuous trek from point A to point B.
As I plant my foot on a chiseled surface on the smooth granite, I can't help but wipe the sweat off my forehead with the back of my hand. That sweat represents the victory of a lifelong dream.
I thought back to myself as a rambunctious teenager, penning my life goals down on a sheet of foolscap. The ultimate goal before I died was to climb, Mount Wagasunya; which was completed a few moments ago.
I took a deep breath, and realized I hadn't checked up on my climbing partner John Eisenhower. I turned around to see his reaction, and it was exactly as I thought. His expression was as I had predicted; full of bliss and contentment.
His eyes met mine, and we exchanged knowing smiles.
The bliss was quickly taken away, as fast as it had appeared. I lost stability on the rock I was standing on, and fell off the cliff with my arms flapping.
All I could see was John staring downwards, expressionless. My suspicion had become reality. He had it out for me. I knew in the pit of my stomach that there was something off between our communications, but I pushed the accusations aside, and continued the hike.
He had been acting cold and distant for the month leading up to the hike. I was quick to refuse any suspicions of infidelity, but I could not for the life of me, identify the cause.
The fall felt like an eternity, and I did not know if I would hit the ground anytime soon. I had time to say goodbye to my parents in my thoughts.
I hit the ground with a loud thud. It went away as fast as it came.
Audience: Adventure seeking teens to those in their mid 20s.
Purpose: To captivate an audience's attention with a sharp turn of events.
Wednesday, March 11, 2009
Humble Beginnings Make for Distinctive Dishes
During supper time, the Hugonaut family gathered around the hot pot, set in the middle of the dining room table. There was much anticipation to begin the feast.
Mr. Hugonaut set down an array of meats and vegetables next to the gas burner, which had a rumbling pot of soup nestled on top of it. The four Hugonaut girls all watched wide eyed and stomach grumbling, ready to pounce at the delicacies that would be strained from the pot. Mr. Hugonaut removed the lid of the hot pot, and allowed the steam to escape before immersing the raw ingredients into the boiling fury. After a few swishes in the soup with his chopstick, Mr. Hugonaut transferred the perfectly cooked portions onto a sharing dish.
"Hot pot night brings the family together; and it's interactive" smiled Mr. Hugonaut, as he dipped a piece of daikon into soy sauce.
Mr. Hugonaut has years of cooking experience under his belt. The techniques he uses are reminiscent of ancient tea brewing masters from the Ming Dynasty. The effortless fluidity of his actions while he cooks, is something that can only be witnessed and hardly explained.
"Oh I've had the pleasure of tasting his creations, on many occasions, and I've never been disappointed!" raves a close relative.
"He was so generous to share [food] with us," remarks Mrs. Dobiech, when Limay Hugonaut brought in banana spring rolls for the class to enjoy.
"It's very rewarding to know that my cooking is appreciated," Mr. Hugonaut shows a humble smile.
When love and passion are combined in the kitchen, the result is a beautiful experience tasted on the palette
Audience: Food connoisseurs from around the globe aged 27-68
Purpose: To give credit to a man's hardwork
Mr. Hugonaut set down an array of meats and vegetables next to the gas burner, which had a rumbling pot of soup nestled on top of it. The four Hugonaut girls all watched wide eyed and stomach grumbling, ready to pounce at the delicacies that would be strained from the pot. Mr. Hugonaut removed the lid of the hot pot, and allowed the steam to escape before immersing the raw ingredients into the boiling fury. After a few swishes in the soup with his chopstick, Mr. Hugonaut transferred the perfectly cooked portions onto a sharing dish.
"Hot pot night brings the family together; and it's interactive" smiled Mr. Hugonaut, as he dipped a piece of daikon into soy sauce.
Mr. Hugonaut has years of cooking experience under his belt. The techniques he uses are reminiscent of ancient tea brewing masters from the Ming Dynasty. The effortless fluidity of his actions while he cooks, is something that can only be witnessed and hardly explained.
"Oh I've had the pleasure of tasting his creations, on many occasions, and I've never been disappointed!" raves a close relative.
"He was so generous to share [food] with us," remarks Mrs. Dobiech, when Limay Hugonaut brought in banana spring rolls for the class to enjoy.
"It's very rewarding to know that my cooking is appreciated," Mr. Hugonaut shows a humble smile.
When love and passion are combined in the kitchen, the result is a beautiful experience tasted on the palette
Audience: Food connoisseurs from around the globe aged 27-68
Purpose: To give credit to a man's hardwork
Tuesday, March 10, 2009
Chef De Soeur
At approximately 12:03 am tonight, Lisa was spotted in the kitchen, preparing a hearty chicken stew in advance, for consumption the following day.
Lisa folded the contents of the Teflon pot meticulously, to ensure that the stew did not splatter. She grabbed a silver spoon, and scooped the top layer of the stew to obtain a kernel of corn. She blew a cool stream of air onto the spoon, and proceeded to deposit the broth into her mouth. Lisa adjusted the flavour by adding salt and seasonings, to her desired level of taste.
When asked about her younger sister's cooking abilities, this is what Lily had to say,"She's not as good as I am, but I'm too lazy, so I make her do it." Perhaps, this is how Lisa came to be so independent.
"Her baked goods are quite delectable," mentioned Lisa's mother, with enthusiasm in her tone.
Although her creations are sought after, Lisa does not bake from scratch, but opts for the ease of combining pre-measured cake mixes. Her brand of preference for cake mixes would have to be Betty Crocker, due to the variety of cakes available in the line. Her most common choice for cake mix, would have to be between the white or the yellow.
"I love when she makes cupcakes, and let's me help decorate them!" squeals Lisa's younger sister Limay with a bagful of excitement.
"I do what I can." Lisa shrugs nonchalantly.
Cooking is not as difficult as it is perceived to be. With the right ingredients at hand, and the necessary equipment, mouthwatering meals can be prepared in no time.
Audience: Food enthusiasts aged 16-34
Purpose: To debunk the myth that cooking is hard, especially after the fact that most things come prepackaged anyways.
Lisa folded the contents of the Teflon pot meticulously, to ensure that the stew did not splatter. She grabbed a silver spoon, and scooped the top layer of the stew to obtain a kernel of corn. She blew a cool stream of air onto the spoon, and proceeded to deposit the broth into her mouth. Lisa adjusted the flavour by adding salt and seasonings, to her desired level of taste.
When asked about her younger sister's cooking abilities, this is what Lily had to say,"She's not as good as I am, but I'm too lazy, so I make her do it." Perhaps, this is how Lisa came to be so independent.
"Her baked goods are quite delectable," mentioned Lisa's mother, with enthusiasm in her tone.
Although her creations are sought after, Lisa does not bake from scratch, but opts for the ease of combining pre-measured cake mixes. Her brand of preference for cake mixes would have to be Betty Crocker, due to the variety of cakes available in the line. Her most common choice for cake mix, would have to be between the white or the yellow.
"I love when she makes cupcakes, and let's me help decorate them!" squeals Lisa's younger sister Limay with a bagful of excitement.
"I do what I can." Lisa shrugs nonchalantly.
Cooking is not as difficult as it is perceived to be. With the right ingredients at hand, and the necessary equipment, mouthwatering meals can be prepared in no time.
Audience: Food enthusiasts aged 16-34
Purpose: To debunk the myth that cooking is hard, especially after the fact that most things come prepackaged anyways.
Illness Confines Teen to Bedrest
During after school hours, Lily was reported as being bundled up in a comforter sleeping in her bedroom.
She appeared to be suffering from Cold/Flu-like symptoms, which may have been contracted from weekend festivities.
She ingested a couple blue Tylenol Cold pills before slowly shifting into a resting position. Her nostrils were quite stuffed, which obstructed her breathing. She was forced to use her mouth as a means to attain oxygen. She began to drift off into a slumber, but her mind was riddled with regrets of the weekend's diversions.
"Lily should have stayed home and slept, because she knew she was sick. But instead she decided to go out and party anyways." Lily's mother said disapprovingly.
Lily did not want her symptoms to prevent her from having fun. Lily looked to a cold medicine commercial for inspiration, for she believed she could also be unstoppable, as the commercial suggested. With perserverance at hand, Lily left the house twice that weekend.
"Our commercials are only to be used as a recommendation, not as a guideline for outgoing behaviour." Stated a spokesperson for Advil Cold and Sinus.
"I'll be sure to stay home the next time I feel this crappy." Lily confessed remorsefully. "And I'll make sure to get plenty of rest."
It is common sense for individuals feeling under the weather, to get plenty of rest and drink lots of fluid, in order to restore mental and physical health.
Audience: Others that have been enraptured by the change of weather. Ranging in age from 17-23 years old
Purpose: To learn the lesson of keeping the body healthy, and not make regrettable decisions
She appeared to be suffering from Cold/Flu-like symptoms, which may have been contracted from weekend festivities.
She ingested a couple blue Tylenol Cold pills before slowly shifting into a resting position. Her nostrils were quite stuffed, which obstructed her breathing. She was forced to use her mouth as a means to attain oxygen. She began to drift off into a slumber, but her mind was riddled with regrets of the weekend's diversions.
"Lily should have stayed home and slept, because she knew she was sick. But instead she decided to go out and party anyways." Lily's mother said disapprovingly.
Lily did not want her symptoms to prevent her from having fun. Lily looked to a cold medicine commercial for inspiration, for she believed she could also be unstoppable, as the commercial suggested. With perserverance at hand, Lily left the house twice that weekend.
"Our commercials are only to be used as a recommendation, not as a guideline for outgoing behaviour." Stated a spokesperson for Advil Cold and Sinus.
"I'll be sure to stay home the next time I feel this crappy." Lily confessed remorsefully. "And I'll make sure to get plenty of rest."
It is common sense for individuals feeling under the weather, to get plenty of rest and drink lots of fluid, in order to restore mental and physical health.
Audience: Others that have been enraptured by the change of weather. Ranging in age from 17-23 years old
Purpose: To learn the lesson of keeping the body healthy, and not make regrettable decisions
Wednesday, March 4, 2009
The View from the Other Side of the Mountain
Audience: Calm and Collected Individuals 18-35 years of age
Purpose: For readers to accurately depict the place I have chosen to write about
Staring out into the vast scenery
I can't help but wonder who I'll turn out to be
The high Appalachians in the background
and the crisp aquamarine sheet gleaming across the foreground
Provide me with hope and anxiety
For a future of unknown expectations in society
As I walk towards the clean edge of the waters
I scuff my sandals through the sharp blades of grass
The air smells fresh and cools my nostrils
as I reach the jagged boulders at last
I climb my way onto a flat topped stone
facing the forests in the distance
I cross my legs and close my eyes for a moment
I let my mind go without any resistance
I hear the wind whisper as it exhales past my head
My mind is clear of clutter, and I reflect of what he said
I place my palms against the warmth of the granite
grasping for stability that I've taken for granted
I open my eyes again and search for the mountains
They tower over the flatlands, and give off a certainty
Their frosty white tops and dark grey torsos
Captivate the eyes that stare on so quietly
I leap off the rock and walk away from the display of beauty
Content with the gift of pleasure provided by the scenery
Purpose: For readers to accurately depict the place I have chosen to write about
Staring out into the vast scenery
I can't help but wonder who I'll turn out to be
The high Appalachians in the background
and the crisp aquamarine sheet gleaming across the foreground
Provide me with hope and anxiety
For a future of unknown expectations in society
As I walk towards the clean edge of the waters
I scuff my sandals through the sharp blades of grass
The air smells fresh and cools my nostrils
as I reach the jagged boulders at last
I climb my way onto a flat topped stone
facing the forests in the distance
I cross my legs and close my eyes for a moment
I let my mind go without any resistance
I hear the wind whisper as it exhales past my head
My mind is clear of clutter, and I reflect of what he said
I place my palms against the warmth of the granite
grasping for stability that I've taken for granted
I open my eyes again and search for the mountains
They tower over the flatlands, and give off a certainty
Their frosty white tops and dark grey torsos
Captivate the eyes that stare on so quietly
I leap off the rock and walk away from the display of beauty
Content with the gift of pleasure provided by the scenery
Succumbing to the Abyss of Dreaming
My subconscious harvests the thoughts that were bypassed
They collect together in one place, and wait to be unleashed
Like a cougar awaiting on a prey, my dreams are lurking in the shadows
They find the perfect moment, to vomit the events that previously occurred
They are hidden messages, that I have to decode
My lessons are taught, in the form of an endless reel
The meanings behind this euphoric state of mind are hard to decipher
On the account that they were barely noticed by the fully engaged state of mind
The journey of dreaming is a long and exhausting travel
The lure of false hope drew me into the driver's seat
The aspirations of being more than the average individual
Convinces the soul to do more searching
A surreal state of mind is within arms reach
The desire to participate is reason enough
To surrender to the abyss of this eternal mystery
They collect together in one place, and wait to be unleashed
Like a cougar awaiting on a prey, my dreams are lurking in the shadows
They find the perfect moment, to vomit the events that previously occurred
They are hidden messages, that I have to decode
My lessons are taught, in the form of an endless reel
The meanings behind this euphoric state of mind are hard to decipher
On the account that they were barely noticed by the fully engaged state of mind
The journey of dreaming is a long and exhausting travel
The lure of false hope drew me into the driver's seat
The aspirations of being more than the average individual
Convinces the soul to do more searching
A surreal state of mind is within arms reach
The desire to participate is reason enough
To surrender to the abyss of this eternal mystery
Tuesday, March 3, 2009
The hope for the future
Audience: Uninspired Teenagers
Purpose: To inspire teenagers to contribute to the world around them, and stop being so egocentric.
The world is on the brink of
collapse
collapse
We stand by waiting
We watch with curiousity
and see it all fading
Change is within grasp
but we can't seem to grip it
A sad realization of the suffering
and all of the b*llsh*t
Our resources to help are percieved
as quite limited
No money, no jobs, no homes
too busy taking care of kids
Watching life pass by
hoping to catch a glimpse
Into the truth of the matter
where we are nothing but nymphs
Prancing in the forest of illusion
without a care in the world
A sudden stroke of ambition
to break out of the pearled
reality
That's within me
To catapult a revolution
and get rid of the pollution
The future is in the hands of my
generation
That right there is enough for celebration.
Baby's First Touch
Audience: Mothers aged 26-39
Purpose: To highlight the precious moments that children hold
As the water trickled through her fingers
Excitement rose when sensations lingered
Profound curiosity weaved throughout her system
The discovery of the experience relayed in tandem
With the baby girl's first sense of touch
When her mom gave a finger to clutch
A wide eyed unspoken bundle of joy
Clawing for knowledge that's found in a toy
Smiling a toothless grin from ear to other ear
Unaware of the problems that lay in the near
Basked in the purest form of humanity
Unaware of the world's destructon and insanity
Lost in the moment of peace and serenity
Is the time with a beautiful new baby
Purpose: To highlight the precious moments that children hold
As the water trickled through her fingers
Excitement rose when sensations lingered
Profound curiosity weaved throughout her system
The discovery of the experience relayed in tandem
With the baby girl's first sense of touch
When her mom gave a finger to clutch
A wide eyed unspoken bundle of joy
Clawing for knowledge that's found in a toy
Smiling a toothless grin from ear to other ear
Unaware of the problems that lay in the near
Basked in the purest form of humanity
Unaware of the world's destructon and insanity
Lost in the moment of peace and serenity
Is the time with a beautiful new baby
Thursday, February 26, 2009
Inside the Mind of a Fashionista
Audience: 20-40 year old woman, who enjoys watching Sex and the City religiously
The purpose of this piece is to provide entertainment to those who envy the fashionista/socialite lifestyle that the snooty lead.
Marlene
A very well dressed, prim and proper, middle aged woman, is seen pushing through the doors of a university building. She doesn't seem to notice anyone that is passing by her, probably because she is in a hurry to grab a frock from the dry cleaners, or something along those lines. She is wearing a hunter green, crocodile (fake?), knee length coat. She is also carrying a chocolate Balenciaga bag. Her hair was probably blown out by Marc Anthony just this morning, and her makeup looks freshly applied.
As soon as she exits the building, she opens her designer hand bag, and retrieves her rhinestone embellished blackberry. What model blackberry? I have no idea. She checks the time on the device, and it tells her it is 4:39 pm. There is an unread text message notification on the display. It's labelled from Andrew.
Andrew is her fiance. He writes her a text saying that he will be home at 6. They live together in a condominium in the down town core. Their building is rather swanky, with a marbled lobby, and an elevator attendant. They have lived together for almost 3 years now.
Andrew is a banker in the RBC building, and our chosen subject, Marlene, is a fashion teacher at the down town university she was seen leaving from. She is a teacher by day, but a prominent socialite in the evening. Tonight she is going to attend a cocktail party hosted by Fashion Magazine. She plans to wear a Diane Von Furstenburg blue, silk, halter dress.
Marlene is not the type that sits at home twiddling her thumbs. She has weekly plans of attending big bashes, hosted by well known industries and people. Although she is a teacher at the university, he social life comes before her duty as a mentor. She believes she must uphold her ranking in society. She is very much a materialistic woman. Her appearance is important in the world she lives in.
Marlene does not truly appreciate the small things in life. She is the kind of person that would choose a Tiffany's ring, over donating a cheque to Cancer Research. It's pathetic in a sense, but this lifestyle, is the only one she understands. She only gives a hoot about the people that she can acquire things from. These things range from free swag to being the subject of a newspaper article. Yes, unfortunately, Marlene is only "friends" with you because you have something she wants.
There are many people out there who behave like Marlene. They are very conscious of their appearances, and look down to those who have less than them. If they don't have anything to offer, Marlene does not care for your time.
The purpose of this piece is to provide entertainment to those who envy the fashionista/socialite lifestyle that the snooty lead.
Marlene
A very well dressed, prim and proper, middle aged woman, is seen pushing through the doors of a university building. She doesn't seem to notice anyone that is passing by her, probably because she is in a hurry to grab a frock from the dry cleaners, or something along those lines. She is wearing a hunter green, crocodile (fake?), knee length coat. She is also carrying a chocolate Balenciaga bag. Her hair was probably blown out by Marc Anthony just this morning, and her makeup looks freshly applied.
As soon as she exits the building, she opens her designer hand bag, and retrieves her rhinestone embellished blackberry. What model blackberry? I have no idea. She checks the time on the device, and it tells her it is 4:39 pm. There is an unread text message notification on the display. It's labelled from Andrew.
Andrew is her fiance. He writes her a text saying that he will be home at 6. They live together in a condominium in the down town core. Their building is rather swanky, with a marbled lobby, and an elevator attendant. They have lived together for almost 3 years now.
Andrew is a banker in the RBC building, and our chosen subject, Marlene, is a fashion teacher at the down town university she was seen leaving from. She is a teacher by day, but a prominent socialite in the evening. Tonight she is going to attend a cocktail party hosted by Fashion Magazine. She plans to wear a Diane Von Furstenburg blue, silk, halter dress.
Marlene is not the type that sits at home twiddling her thumbs. She has weekly plans of attending big bashes, hosted by well known industries and people. Although she is a teacher at the university, he social life comes before her duty as a mentor. She believes she must uphold her ranking in society. She is very much a materialistic woman. Her appearance is important in the world she lives in.
Marlene does not truly appreciate the small things in life. She is the kind of person that would choose a Tiffany's ring, over donating a cheque to Cancer Research. It's pathetic in a sense, but this lifestyle, is the only one she understands. She only gives a hoot about the people that she can acquire things from. These things range from free swag to being the subject of a newspaper article. Yes, unfortunately, Marlene is only "friends" with you because you have something she wants.
There are many people out there who behave like Marlene. They are very conscious of their appearances, and look down to those who have less than them. If they don't have anything to offer, Marlene does not care for your time.
Tuesday, February 24, 2009
Don't Judge a Book by its Cover
Audience: 15 year old teenage girls/boys - 43 year old ignorant adults
This post is intended for those who make assumptions about people without considering the life they lead behind closed doors. Hopefully this teaches that people deserve more compassion and people are thoroughly interesting, if you give them a chance.
Frank
It is a bright, end of winter/start of spring kind of afternoon. A seemingly timid Asian man with a small physique is spotted strolling along the pathway of a park. His presence is not captivating by any means, for obvious physical reasons, but it is his gentle smile that catches ones attention.
The air is still rather cold, despite the sun being out. He is protecting himself from the elements with a vintage 90s windbreaker. How can you tell it's from the 90s? The obvious large, neon and geometric interlocking print is a dead giveaway. Moving on; he has the sleeves of his jacket rolled up in order to fit the shortness of his arms. He is wearing slightly faded black jeans that skim the top of his brown leather loafers. Obviously not up to date with the current fashion trends, but it's not of his concern.
He is carrying his usual public library branded tote, for that is most likely where he is heading. He walks with a slight trudge. The kind of slight trudge, where it seems as though he is narrowly catching himself from falling with every step. So this petite little man, continues to trudge his way towards the local library.
He has just left his home, which happens to be within walking distance of the library. He enjoys going to the library to bask in the collection of informative and entertaining selections stocked upon the shelves.
He spends a large portion of his free time at the library. He has this time on his hands because he happens to be single, and works from his own home.
At home, he lives with his very dependent mother. He is her only means of survival. He is able to stay at home and take care of her, because his work is directly from his home computer. He works for a small cellular phone company on the brink of collapse, and his job is to type up apology letters to clients.
He leads a life that others may consider to be bland, but our subject, Frank, does not see it that way. He views his extra time, as a blessing, considering the stress others have to endure. He sees his caretaking duties as a form of returning the favour, to the one that raised him to be the man he is today. Frank's lifestyle may not be one of the thrill seeking or spontaneous sort, but he enjoys his life. He enjoys the overall simplicity of it. Life is not considered simple by any means, but to Frank, his life is not complicated either.
This post is intended for those who make assumptions about people without considering the life they lead behind closed doors. Hopefully this teaches that people deserve more compassion and people are thoroughly interesting, if you give them a chance.
Frank
It is a bright, end of winter/start of spring kind of afternoon. A seemingly timid Asian man with a small physique is spotted strolling along the pathway of a park. His presence is not captivating by any means, for obvious physical reasons, but it is his gentle smile that catches ones attention.
The air is still rather cold, despite the sun being out. He is protecting himself from the elements with a vintage 90s windbreaker. How can you tell it's from the 90s? The obvious large, neon and geometric interlocking print is a dead giveaway. Moving on; he has the sleeves of his jacket rolled up in order to fit the shortness of his arms. He is wearing slightly faded black jeans that skim the top of his brown leather loafers. Obviously not up to date with the current fashion trends, but it's not of his concern.
He is carrying his usual public library branded tote, for that is most likely where he is heading. He walks with a slight trudge. The kind of slight trudge, where it seems as though he is narrowly catching himself from falling with every step. So this petite little man, continues to trudge his way towards the local library.
He has just left his home, which happens to be within walking distance of the library. He enjoys going to the library to bask in the collection of informative and entertaining selections stocked upon the shelves.
He spends a large portion of his free time at the library. He has this time on his hands because he happens to be single, and works from his own home.
At home, he lives with his very dependent mother. He is her only means of survival. He is able to stay at home and take care of her, because his work is directly from his home computer. He works for a small cellular phone company on the brink of collapse, and his job is to type up apology letters to clients.
He leads a life that others may consider to be bland, but our subject, Frank, does not see it that way. He views his extra time, as a blessing, considering the stress others have to endure. He sees his caretaking duties as a form of returning the favour, to the one that raised him to be the man he is today. Frank's lifestyle may not be one of the thrill seeking or spontaneous sort, but he enjoys his life. He enjoys the overall simplicity of it. Life is not considered simple by any means, but to Frank, his life is not complicated either.
Monday, February 16, 2009
Diary Entries from Inanimate Objects
"Dear Diary," written by The Flower
Day 1:
Today I feel quite vibrant and alive. I have not stopped smiling since the arrival of the sun this morning. He makes me feel warm and safe. I try my hardest to look my best for him. I open up my petals a little wider than usual when I am in his presence. I can tell I have his attention because he can’t seem to keep his rays off of me.
My beauty is rather captivating; if I do say so myself. I mean, just a few minutes ago, a lady was walking her dog, and she stopped dead in her tracks, looking right in my direction. She advanced towards me as she set her sunglasses atop her wild blond curls. I suddenly realized that I had pollen sprinkled across my mouth; the bee always forgets to clean up after his visits. She drew nearer in proximity and I began to have a small fit of panic. I prayed that she wouldn’t notice my little faux pas.
We were face to face at this point. She had a very satisfied smile on her face. I think my soft, crimson, ombré skin won her over. She continued to scan her eyes across every single part of my body, and I felt my stamen retract timidly. I always feel a little awkward when onlookers size me up.
She lifted her finger and began to pet my petals. Her finger was warm and I felt the contours of her fingerprint with every stroke. Her touch settled my anxiety, and I was thankful for her company.
It’s always nice to be approached by strangers who don’t ask for anything from me, but they walk away with contentment for life, that I managed to help them achieve.
Day 2:
It is currently raining. It has been about 2 weeks since we have had a down pour. A little peculiar considering the fact that it is April. The air is quite moist, but the temperature is comfortable.
I was beginning to feel a little dehydrated. My petals were in the very early stages of wilting, but the rain showed up just in time. My caretaker was here earlier in the week to provide the weekly dose of nutrients, but he did not water, on the account that he was anticipating it to rain later in the week.
I quite enjoy the rain. I like the way raindrops seem to grip onto my petals. They stay on for a little while, but eventually roll off my curves. Each one rolls off with a barely audible "bloop," as if to say goodbye.
I feel calm and serene on rainy days. Unlike the sun, I don't have to constantly try to keep it's attention. The rain treats me the way I ought to be treated. It doesn't shine on other things behind my back, nor does it hide when we get into an argument. The rain cares about my needs, and takes care of them.
Maybe it's time for me to re-evaluate my options. I love them both dearly and can't live without either of them. Hopefully the next day brings some much needed answers.
Day 3:
Today the sun is out again. I could hardly sleep at all last night. I was too busy trying to come up with excuses as to why I didn't dry off from the rain right away. Truth is, the rain and I still have feelings for each other. Although we do see each other every so often, the passion we feel when we're together is like nothing in this world.
The sun knows about my past relationship with the rain. The rain and I were high school sweethearts; but we went our seperate ways during my full bloom. That's when I became seriously involved with the sun. He was confident, brazen, and not to mention, really hot.
I dove head first into it. I am not a shrinking violet, and am not afraid to speak my mind.
Ironically, he took it well. I wasn't all that suprised. I was not the first flower he laid his rays on, nor would I be the last. It was a little unnerving however, that he proceeded to heat up the white daisy across the street. Whatever, he won't go far with that one, she is still blossoming and burns easily.
At least it's over and done with. Now I can count down the days until the rain and I will joyfull reunite.
Day 4:
Today is a Saturday morning, hence why there are so many people out playing in my park. Families are kicking a ball around, and I am scared it may roll over to my area. There should be a gate around my floral community. Just the other day, a chrysanthemum was trampled on, and the gardner had to dispose of her. She was quickly replaced, but if that were to ever happen to me, I'm not sure if I would be so forgiving.
A couple of toddler girls are playing near me right now. They are holding hands and wearing dainty dresses with ruffles. They are picking the flowers not too far from me, and putting them into a basket they have with them. I don't mind the idea of being picked off the roots, because it is so common, but I'm not sure if now would be the right time, considering the fact that my ex is watching, and it would be embarassing for me to be helplessly plucked away.
The little girl in the yellow dress is picking a few flowers in my row. You'd be a fool not to want to pick me. Her chubby dirt riddened hand descends upon me and with one swift yank, I am out of the soil. She is waving me around like a ragdoll. I feel so ... so ... LIBERATED.
TAKE THAT SUN! Now I can be relocated and not have to see your sweltering face ever again. I hope I will be part of a beautiful bouquet of flowers for the girls' mother or something, that way she will put me into a vase of some sort, and I will once again be the centre piece of a dining room table, for dinner guests to admire.
The Lost Earring
*I'm not using this object as the one I want, but I couldn't bear to delete it.
I started out in life as a member of a clan. There were about 4 pairs of us in each package. It was our duty to be presentable so little girls would point and stare at us with lust. My pack happened to be the one at the front of the rack, so it was only a matter of time that we would be purchased.
The day finally arrived that we would settle into a new home. The customer was a teenage girl with long, dark hair. I smiled uncontrollably as she approached us. "Ooh" I heard her say as she stroked each one of us with her soft finger tips.
The cashier slipped us into the store logoed baggy, and before I knew it, I was sitting on soft cushions in a jewellery box. She visited the jewellery box regularly and found a new pair of earrings to wear each time. I waited patiently for my turn to be displayed to the world.
I remember the day as if it were yesterday. I was joking with my friend, the pearl earrings, when I saw the familiar light of the room. I instinctively knew that it was my time.
I was a glimmering diamond cut stud earring. She wore my partner and I out to a dance that evening. We were stunners, she wore her hair up so people could get a better view of us.
After the dance, she and a group of her friends went down to the beach to have an after party. The girls and boys took off their shoes and ran along the shoreline.
Her hair out so that it would blow in the wind, but I was barely clinging on. My backing had fallen off, and I was hanging on for dear life. The fall was a long way down. I was buried beneath the grains of sand. She didn't notice at all what had happened. I tried crying out for help. She was too far now. I was rooted in the sand like a small plant. She wasn't going to come back for me. I knew it in my heart. How will the other earring manage without a companion? The thought of being alone crept up on me and I began to worry.
I worried about the tides coming in, I worried about the grains of sand getting trapped in my prongs. I did not imagine my life as a lost piece nestled in the abyss of sand. I was scared no doubt, but it could have been worse...right? I mean I could have ended up in a garbage can, or melted on the sun blazed sidewalk; but I was right here. I was surrounded by the comforting coolness of the sand. I slowly drifted into a soft slumber, and left any uncertainties for the following morning.
Thursday, February 12, 2009
Don't give money to strangers or people that claim to know you
My friend and I usually go to the cafeteria to heat up our food at lunch time. Yesterday was no exception. It's funny that sometimes the microwave line up will sometimes rival the length of the caf food line up. Sometimes there is a silent awkwardness between the people who aren't lining up the right way. You think to yourself, I know these people are not trying to butt, because I won't allow it! You have an awkward shuffle once in a while with these people by the means of mental war fare.
On this particular lunch, i recognized a small clump of girls from waiting in line yesterday, Great... another uncomfortable stand off. Maybe I'm getting ahead of myself with this theory of mine. I'm not being rude, but they were identifiably book smart kids. They were speaking amongst themselves, approximately 3-4 or so of them standing aside near the microwave. When two ...not so book smart looking girls approched one of the book smart kids, and was asking to bum off some money. She was saying things like how they had class together and how she has her email, just to prove that they knew each other. To sum up the situation, it was a feeble attempt. The book smart girl was pretty reluctant about coughing up change for a girl who didn't know her name. It was pretty funny to watch, little niners trying to have their way. The adventures that go on in the cafeteria are just immaculate. You can literally table hop and learn something new of each group of people, just by listening in.
The cafeteria is definitely underestimated. It's a haven for likes to gather together and share the news of the morning classes. I highly recommend checking out the school caf for people watching and evesdropping
On this particular lunch, i recognized a small clump of girls from waiting in line yesterday, Great... another uncomfortable stand off. Maybe I'm getting ahead of myself with this theory of mine. I'm not being rude, but they were identifiably book smart kids. They were speaking amongst themselves, approximately 3-4 or so of them standing aside near the microwave. When two ...not so book smart looking girls approched one of the book smart kids, and was asking to bum off some money. She was saying things like how they had class together and how she has her email, just to prove that they knew each other. To sum up the situation, it was a feeble attempt. The book smart girl was pretty reluctant about coughing up change for a girl who didn't know her name. It was pretty funny to watch, little niners trying to have their way. The adventures that go on in the cafeteria are just immaculate. You can literally table hop and learn something new of each group of people, just by listening in.
The cafeteria is definitely underestimated. It's a haven for likes to gather together and share the news of the morning classes. I highly recommend checking out the school caf for people watching and evesdropping
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