"Goooochiiigooochigoooo"
I mean seriously? Who does she think she is?
Ever since birth, this woman has been taunting me endlessly with her array of silly sounds.
I stare back at her wide eyed, hoping she will pick up on the fact that I think she's a complete moron. I would prefer to give her an earful, but it's clear that we are not on the same level of communication.
The insane woman decided to dress me up in costume and leave me on the back deck for the morning . I tried to object, but as usual, she got her way. I will give her this however, her choice on the green pea pod ensemble, was the best decision she has ever made. The fleecy interior feels luxurious against my soft skin, and the colour brings out my eyes.
She has her professional Canon Digicam 590-39 slung around her neck, and I know what's to come. She does this on a daily basis, snapping photographs of me in unusual settings. She definitely has an obsession with me. Once again there is nothing I can do about it, but allow her to take advantage of me.
I am almost at my breaking point with this woman. She does not know her boundaries. Little does she know I have been plotting this whole time. My plan is to run away and start a business in Germany. I won't so much run away, as I will crawl away, but it gets the job done, none the less.
My plan will be put into action around dinner time. I have packed myself a diaper bag of necessities. My documents and objects for survival are neatly categorized within the bag, for easy access. I have already contacted someone who will pick me up on the intersection of Dunkirk and Monahan. I cannot wait to desert this outlandish lifestyle, in order to pursue my intelligent project.
She lunges her arms for me, and I squirm with rebellion. As she hoists me up into her chest, I smile at the thought of my genius scheme, and let out a quiet "muahaha."
As soon as naptime is over, my escape will transpire.
Audience: Evil children from ages 10-18
Purpose: To create an alter ego for the seemingly innocent toddler.
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