"Goooochiiigooochigoooo"
I mean seriously? Who does she think she is?
Ever since birth, this woman has been taunting me endlessly with her array of silly sounds.
I stare back at her wide eyed, hoping she will pick up on the fact that I think she's a complete moron. I would prefer to give her an earful, but it's clear that we are not on the same level of communication.
The insane woman decided to dress me up in costume and leave me on the back deck for the morning . I tried to object, but as usual, she got her way. I will give her this however, her choice on the green pea pod ensemble, was the best decision she has ever made. The fleecy interior feels luxurious against my soft skin, and the colour brings out my eyes.
She has her professional Canon Digicam 590-39 slung around her neck, and I know what's to come. She does this on a daily basis, snapping photographs of me in unusual settings. She definitely has an obsession with me. Once again there is nothing I can do about it, but allow her to take advantage of me.
I am almost at my breaking point with this woman. She does not know her boundaries. Little does she know I have been plotting this whole time. My plan is to run away and start a business in Germany. I won't so much run away, as I will crawl away, but it gets the job done, none the less.
My plan will be put into action around dinner time. I have packed myself a diaper bag of necessities. My documents and objects for survival are neatly categorized within the bag, for easy access. I have already contacted someone who will pick me up on the intersection of Dunkirk and Monahan. I cannot wait to desert this outlandish lifestyle, in order to pursue my intelligent project.
She lunges her arms for me, and I squirm with rebellion. As she hoists me up into her chest, I smile at the thought of my genius scheme, and let out a quiet "muahaha."
As soon as naptime is over, my escape will transpire.
Audience: Evil children from ages 10-18
Purpose: To create an alter ego for the seemingly innocent toddler.
Monday, March 30, 2009
Sunday, March 29, 2009
A Long Fall of Retrospect
We finally made it. We finally got to the top of that illusive mountain.
It was a long and strenuous trek from point A to point B.
As I plant my foot on a chiseled surface on the smooth granite, I can't help but wipe the sweat off my forehead with the back of my hand. That sweat represents the victory of a lifelong dream.
I thought back to myself as a rambunctious teenager, penning my life goals down on a sheet of foolscap. The ultimate goal before I died was to climb, Mount Wagasunya; which was completed a few moments ago.
I took a deep breath, and realized I hadn't checked up on my climbing partner John Eisenhower. I turned around to see his reaction, and it was exactly as I thought. His expression was as I had predicted; full of bliss and contentment.
His eyes met mine, and we exchanged knowing smiles.
The bliss was quickly taken away, as fast as it had appeared. I lost stability on the rock I was standing on, and fell off the cliff with my arms flapping.
All I could see was John staring downwards, expressionless. My suspicion had become reality. He had it out for me. I knew in the pit of my stomach that there was something off between our communications, but I pushed the accusations aside, and continued the hike.
He had been acting cold and distant for the month leading up to the hike. I was quick to refuse any suspicions of infidelity, but I could not for the life of me, identify the cause.
The fall felt like an eternity, and I did not know if I would hit the ground anytime soon. I had time to say goodbye to my parents in my thoughts.
I hit the ground with a loud thud. It went away as fast as it came.
Audience: Adventure seeking teens to those in their mid 20s.
Purpose: To captivate an audience's attention with a sharp turn of events.
It was a long and strenuous trek from point A to point B.
As I plant my foot on a chiseled surface on the smooth granite, I can't help but wipe the sweat off my forehead with the back of my hand. That sweat represents the victory of a lifelong dream.
I thought back to myself as a rambunctious teenager, penning my life goals down on a sheet of foolscap. The ultimate goal before I died was to climb, Mount Wagasunya; which was completed a few moments ago.
I took a deep breath, and realized I hadn't checked up on my climbing partner John Eisenhower. I turned around to see his reaction, and it was exactly as I thought. His expression was as I had predicted; full of bliss and contentment.
His eyes met mine, and we exchanged knowing smiles.
The bliss was quickly taken away, as fast as it had appeared. I lost stability on the rock I was standing on, and fell off the cliff with my arms flapping.
All I could see was John staring downwards, expressionless. My suspicion had become reality. He had it out for me. I knew in the pit of my stomach that there was something off between our communications, but I pushed the accusations aside, and continued the hike.
He had been acting cold and distant for the month leading up to the hike. I was quick to refuse any suspicions of infidelity, but I could not for the life of me, identify the cause.
The fall felt like an eternity, and I did not know if I would hit the ground anytime soon. I had time to say goodbye to my parents in my thoughts.
I hit the ground with a loud thud. It went away as fast as it came.
Audience: Adventure seeking teens to those in their mid 20s.
Purpose: To captivate an audience's attention with a sharp turn of events.
Wednesday, March 11, 2009
Humble Beginnings Make for Distinctive Dishes
During supper time, the Hugonaut family gathered around the hot pot, set in the middle of the dining room table. There was much anticipation to begin the feast.
Mr. Hugonaut set down an array of meats and vegetables next to the gas burner, which had a rumbling pot of soup nestled on top of it. The four Hugonaut girls all watched wide eyed and stomach grumbling, ready to pounce at the delicacies that would be strained from the pot. Mr. Hugonaut removed the lid of the hot pot, and allowed the steam to escape before immersing the raw ingredients into the boiling fury. After a few swishes in the soup with his chopstick, Mr. Hugonaut transferred the perfectly cooked portions onto a sharing dish.
"Hot pot night brings the family together; and it's interactive" smiled Mr. Hugonaut, as he dipped a piece of daikon into soy sauce.
Mr. Hugonaut has years of cooking experience under his belt. The techniques he uses are reminiscent of ancient tea brewing masters from the Ming Dynasty. The effortless fluidity of his actions while he cooks, is something that can only be witnessed and hardly explained.
"Oh I've had the pleasure of tasting his creations, on many occasions, and I've never been disappointed!" raves a close relative.
"He was so generous to share [food] with us," remarks Mrs. Dobiech, when Limay Hugonaut brought in banana spring rolls for the class to enjoy.
"It's very rewarding to know that my cooking is appreciated," Mr. Hugonaut shows a humble smile.
When love and passion are combined in the kitchen, the result is a beautiful experience tasted on the palette
Audience: Food connoisseurs from around the globe aged 27-68
Purpose: To give credit to a man's hardwork
Mr. Hugonaut set down an array of meats and vegetables next to the gas burner, which had a rumbling pot of soup nestled on top of it. The four Hugonaut girls all watched wide eyed and stomach grumbling, ready to pounce at the delicacies that would be strained from the pot. Mr. Hugonaut removed the lid of the hot pot, and allowed the steam to escape before immersing the raw ingredients into the boiling fury. After a few swishes in the soup with his chopstick, Mr. Hugonaut transferred the perfectly cooked portions onto a sharing dish.
"Hot pot night brings the family together; and it's interactive" smiled Mr. Hugonaut, as he dipped a piece of daikon into soy sauce.
Mr. Hugonaut has years of cooking experience under his belt. The techniques he uses are reminiscent of ancient tea brewing masters from the Ming Dynasty. The effortless fluidity of his actions while he cooks, is something that can only be witnessed and hardly explained.
"Oh I've had the pleasure of tasting his creations, on many occasions, and I've never been disappointed!" raves a close relative.
"He was so generous to share [food] with us," remarks Mrs. Dobiech, when Limay Hugonaut brought in banana spring rolls for the class to enjoy.
"It's very rewarding to know that my cooking is appreciated," Mr. Hugonaut shows a humble smile.
When love and passion are combined in the kitchen, the result is a beautiful experience tasted on the palette
Audience: Food connoisseurs from around the globe aged 27-68
Purpose: To give credit to a man's hardwork
Tuesday, March 10, 2009
Chef De Soeur
At approximately 12:03 am tonight, Lisa was spotted in the kitchen, preparing a hearty chicken stew in advance, for consumption the following day.
Lisa folded the contents of the Teflon pot meticulously, to ensure that the stew did not splatter. She grabbed a silver spoon, and scooped the top layer of the stew to obtain a kernel of corn. She blew a cool stream of air onto the spoon, and proceeded to deposit the broth into her mouth. Lisa adjusted the flavour by adding salt and seasonings, to her desired level of taste.
When asked about her younger sister's cooking abilities, this is what Lily had to say,"She's not as good as I am, but I'm too lazy, so I make her do it." Perhaps, this is how Lisa came to be so independent.
"Her baked goods are quite delectable," mentioned Lisa's mother, with enthusiasm in her tone.
Although her creations are sought after, Lisa does not bake from scratch, but opts for the ease of combining pre-measured cake mixes. Her brand of preference for cake mixes would have to be Betty Crocker, due to the variety of cakes available in the line. Her most common choice for cake mix, would have to be between the white or the yellow.
"I love when she makes cupcakes, and let's me help decorate them!" squeals Lisa's younger sister Limay with a bagful of excitement.
"I do what I can." Lisa shrugs nonchalantly.
Cooking is not as difficult as it is perceived to be. With the right ingredients at hand, and the necessary equipment, mouthwatering meals can be prepared in no time.
Audience: Food enthusiasts aged 16-34
Purpose: To debunk the myth that cooking is hard, especially after the fact that most things come prepackaged anyways.
Lisa folded the contents of the Teflon pot meticulously, to ensure that the stew did not splatter. She grabbed a silver spoon, and scooped the top layer of the stew to obtain a kernel of corn. She blew a cool stream of air onto the spoon, and proceeded to deposit the broth into her mouth. Lisa adjusted the flavour by adding salt and seasonings, to her desired level of taste.
When asked about her younger sister's cooking abilities, this is what Lily had to say,"She's not as good as I am, but I'm too lazy, so I make her do it." Perhaps, this is how Lisa came to be so independent.
"Her baked goods are quite delectable," mentioned Lisa's mother, with enthusiasm in her tone.
Although her creations are sought after, Lisa does not bake from scratch, but opts for the ease of combining pre-measured cake mixes. Her brand of preference for cake mixes would have to be Betty Crocker, due to the variety of cakes available in the line. Her most common choice for cake mix, would have to be between the white or the yellow.
"I love when she makes cupcakes, and let's me help decorate them!" squeals Lisa's younger sister Limay with a bagful of excitement.
"I do what I can." Lisa shrugs nonchalantly.
Cooking is not as difficult as it is perceived to be. With the right ingredients at hand, and the necessary equipment, mouthwatering meals can be prepared in no time.
Audience: Food enthusiasts aged 16-34
Purpose: To debunk the myth that cooking is hard, especially after the fact that most things come prepackaged anyways.
Illness Confines Teen to Bedrest
During after school hours, Lily was reported as being bundled up in a comforter sleeping in her bedroom.
She appeared to be suffering from Cold/Flu-like symptoms, which may have been contracted from weekend festivities.
She ingested a couple blue Tylenol Cold pills before slowly shifting into a resting position. Her nostrils were quite stuffed, which obstructed her breathing. She was forced to use her mouth as a means to attain oxygen. She began to drift off into a slumber, but her mind was riddled with regrets of the weekend's diversions.
"Lily should have stayed home and slept, because she knew she was sick. But instead she decided to go out and party anyways." Lily's mother said disapprovingly.
Lily did not want her symptoms to prevent her from having fun. Lily looked to a cold medicine commercial for inspiration, for she believed she could also be unstoppable, as the commercial suggested. With perserverance at hand, Lily left the house twice that weekend.
"Our commercials are only to be used as a recommendation, not as a guideline for outgoing behaviour." Stated a spokesperson for Advil Cold and Sinus.
"I'll be sure to stay home the next time I feel this crappy." Lily confessed remorsefully. "And I'll make sure to get plenty of rest."
It is common sense for individuals feeling under the weather, to get plenty of rest and drink lots of fluid, in order to restore mental and physical health.
Audience: Others that have been enraptured by the change of weather. Ranging in age from 17-23 years old
Purpose: To learn the lesson of keeping the body healthy, and not make regrettable decisions
She appeared to be suffering from Cold/Flu-like symptoms, which may have been contracted from weekend festivities.
She ingested a couple blue Tylenol Cold pills before slowly shifting into a resting position. Her nostrils were quite stuffed, which obstructed her breathing. She was forced to use her mouth as a means to attain oxygen. She began to drift off into a slumber, but her mind was riddled with regrets of the weekend's diversions.
"Lily should have stayed home and slept, because she knew she was sick. But instead she decided to go out and party anyways." Lily's mother said disapprovingly.
Lily did not want her symptoms to prevent her from having fun. Lily looked to a cold medicine commercial for inspiration, for she believed she could also be unstoppable, as the commercial suggested. With perserverance at hand, Lily left the house twice that weekend.
"Our commercials are only to be used as a recommendation, not as a guideline for outgoing behaviour." Stated a spokesperson for Advil Cold and Sinus.
"I'll be sure to stay home the next time I feel this crappy." Lily confessed remorsefully. "And I'll make sure to get plenty of rest."
It is common sense for individuals feeling under the weather, to get plenty of rest and drink lots of fluid, in order to restore mental and physical health.
Audience: Others that have been enraptured by the change of weather. Ranging in age from 17-23 years old
Purpose: To learn the lesson of keeping the body healthy, and not make regrettable decisions
Wednesday, March 4, 2009
The View from the Other Side of the Mountain
Audience: Calm and Collected Individuals 18-35 years of age
Purpose: For readers to accurately depict the place I have chosen to write about
Staring out into the vast scenery
I can't help but wonder who I'll turn out to be
The high Appalachians in the background
and the crisp aquamarine sheet gleaming across the foreground
Provide me with hope and anxiety
For a future of unknown expectations in society
As I walk towards the clean edge of the waters
I scuff my sandals through the sharp blades of grass
The air smells fresh and cools my nostrils
as I reach the jagged boulders at last
I climb my way onto a flat topped stone
facing the forests in the distance
I cross my legs and close my eyes for a moment
I let my mind go without any resistance
I hear the wind whisper as it exhales past my head
My mind is clear of clutter, and I reflect of what he said
I place my palms against the warmth of the granite
grasping for stability that I've taken for granted
I open my eyes again and search for the mountains
They tower over the flatlands, and give off a certainty
Their frosty white tops and dark grey torsos
Captivate the eyes that stare on so quietly
I leap off the rock and walk away from the display of beauty
Content with the gift of pleasure provided by the scenery
Purpose: For readers to accurately depict the place I have chosen to write about
Staring out into the vast scenery
I can't help but wonder who I'll turn out to be
The high Appalachians in the background
and the crisp aquamarine sheet gleaming across the foreground
Provide me with hope and anxiety
For a future of unknown expectations in society
As I walk towards the clean edge of the waters
I scuff my sandals through the sharp blades of grass
The air smells fresh and cools my nostrils
as I reach the jagged boulders at last
I climb my way onto a flat topped stone
facing the forests in the distance
I cross my legs and close my eyes for a moment
I let my mind go without any resistance
I hear the wind whisper as it exhales past my head
My mind is clear of clutter, and I reflect of what he said
I place my palms against the warmth of the granite
grasping for stability that I've taken for granted
I open my eyes again and search for the mountains
They tower over the flatlands, and give off a certainty
Their frosty white tops and dark grey torsos
Captivate the eyes that stare on so quietly
I leap off the rock and walk away from the display of beauty
Content with the gift of pleasure provided by the scenery
Succumbing to the Abyss of Dreaming
My subconscious harvests the thoughts that were bypassed
They collect together in one place, and wait to be unleashed
Like a cougar awaiting on a prey, my dreams are lurking in the shadows
They find the perfect moment, to vomit the events that previously occurred
They are hidden messages, that I have to decode
My lessons are taught, in the form of an endless reel
The meanings behind this euphoric state of mind are hard to decipher
On the account that they were barely noticed by the fully engaged state of mind
The journey of dreaming is a long and exhausting travel
The lure of false hope drew me into the driver's seat
The aspirations of being more than the average individual
Convinces the soul to do more searching
A surreal state of mind is within arms reach
The desire to participate is reason enough
To surrender to the abyss of this eternal mystery
They collect together in one place, and wait to be unleashed
Like a cougar awaiting on a prey, my dreams are lurking in the shadows
They find the perfect moment, to vomit the events that previously occurred
They are hidden messages, that I have to decode
My lessons are taught, in the form of an endless reel
The meanings behind this euphoric state of mind are hard to decipher
On the account that they were barely noticed by the fully engaged state of mind
The journey of dreaming is a long and exhausting travel
The lure of false hope drew me into the driver's seat
The aspirations of being more than the average individual
Convinces the soul to do more searching
A surreal state of mind is within arms reach
The desire to participate is reason enough
To surrender to the abyss of this eternal mystery
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