Heartache

Question, why do we continue to subject ourselves to the pain and suffering of bad relationships?

How do you know when certain things can be tolerated and others to be breaking points?

Cheating, is a no brainer for most including myself, but what about the little jabs, worth breaking up over?

I have never cried so much over anyone as I have from being in this relationship. I was listening to the song Better Man, by Pearl Jam, and there's a line "She lies and says she's in love with him, can't find a better man."

Hmmm, okay, guilty?

Maybe I'm convincing myself of things being better than they are? AKA Denial.

I think sometimes we justify being treated a certain way because we think we cause or deserve them.

We bend the rules for someone and slowly it breaks down our strong sense of self because we've become so lenient for this other person.

Over and over we allow this other person to get away with or forgive them for terrible things.

Which, possibly, over time, causes you to lose your integrity. :(

The only thing I can think of is that you have to have a strong sense of self, to know what you will and will not put up with.

Otherwise you let people walk all over you (lightbulb) AHA that's precisely it.

The thing I am struggling with is letting go of the need to fix/save/rescue this person from themselves.

You desperately want this person to be a glowing perfect individual, but these changes are something that you cannot force them to make. Just like changing yourself, when you identify a flaw within your own character, and work on bettering yourself.

This is something I think I have have a hard time grasping, is the fact that people shouldn't change for you, but for themselves. Or rather.. CAN'T.

I feel extremely emotional, au current, but I'm hoping this will pass. I am relying heavily on moral support from friends and family.

God this is draining. I don't want this to in anyway sound like I feel sorry for myself, but I do feel pretty fucking shitty.

It really does feel like my heart has been beat up.

Someone needs to write a how to get through heartbreak guidebook.